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[01 Aug 2004|07:55pm] |
moved to: stayinside
add mee!!
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[31 Jul 2004|08:21pm] |
love.me.for.me
No midnight movie for me tonight. I can't stay up late. I haven't slept well for a couple nights now. ;[ I really want to see Office Space. One of my favorites. Hm, maybe I'll change my mind. If anything, I could fall asleep in the theatre.
things change; people change. and it doesn't mean you have to forget the past or cover it up. it simply means you have to move on and treasure the memories.
hm, today has been boring. I guess it's just one of those 'hang around the house' nights. Which is fine for me. Cause I have been going places non-stop for 2 weeks now.
"It doesn't matter what you do. Don't you know I'm so over you?"
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[31 Jul 2004|10:33am] |
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My summer started off alright. Then got horrible. And is slowly getting much much better. :D I went through a rough time with Justin. I feel like he only wanted me to hang out with him and never my friends. He wanted to see me 6 days a week. I needed to have a life. When I finally had the balls to break up with him, I found the greatest friends who cheered me up and showed me what I had been missing. Nothing is going to ruin this time I'm having. And if I see something starting, I will ignore you. I'm sorry. I don't want to hear about it cause I haven't had this much fun in a long time. It's crucial having a curfew during these good days and being home at 11 cause I have to wake up at 6 but it's only for 5 more days. Then I can stay out as long as I need to. I LOVE MY FRIENDS!
I really wanted to see Justin before he goes off to college on the 9th, but things happen for reasons. I'm completely pissed off and I mean, if I see him, nothing is going to happen. I can't look at him like I used too. I don't feel what I did when I'm around him. I drifted away from him. I'm better off without him.
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[30 Jul 2004|11:54pm] |
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I just want to kiss your lips. And you kiss back.
I'm going to update this again tomorrow after behind the wheel about my wonderful day/night. + I took some of Leah's pictures from the day. I'll post them soon.
..It's hard, but I'm getting over you.
goodnightpenis.
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[30 Jul 2004|10:32am] |
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Yesterday consisted of hanging out with those lovely Manchester boys. <33. They are crazy. But I trust their driving. It was lots of fun. First, the boys came to my house and hung out until it began raining. Then they left and called me back a couple hours later. We hung out at my house for a bit and then went to Putt-Putt. We were going to go on go-carts but didn't. And then we hung out at ice zone in the parking lot. It brought back good times from when I met them. And attempted to play spin the bottle. But I was the only girl. So that didn't work well. Lol. And then we went to Mcdonalds. And then we all had to leave. I love those boys!!
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[29 Jul 2004|07:41am] |
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Goodbye Insane Idiot.
You say you changed. Not only for me but for youself. I see no change. I'm over you. I thought I wanted you back, but having you back is the worst thing I could ever think of. You are a complete mess. You called me at 4 in the morning, asking for the time. You were completely stoned. The lies are starting all over again. You called me at 630am, probably not knowing you did. Cause no one was talking to me. And I heard the most disturbing thing. People yelling because someone punched another. I'm happy I never went back to you and your lies again. I am happy I heard that now, Cause last night, before 4am, I was honestly thinking about running back to your open arms. Things happen for a reason. Thank you for calling. Now grow up and let me leave. I don't want to be around your drama. I don't need to be. I'm better than drugs. You saying you love your drugs and you love me too, highly ticks me off. Just say you love me. And only me. Until I see this change, I will forever be far away from you. Have a good life. Stop ruining mine.
Kyle Shiflett is the most amazing friend! I love him dearly.
( boredum )
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[28 Jul 2004|09:07pm] |
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I like these colors on my layout. I like them alot more than the old colors. The pink and green remind me of the chucks I am extremely crazy about. [sighs..] Okay, I just need to save some money and get them. I think I have enough. I either want the dark green Reebok Classics or the green and pink Chucks. I just don't know which ones. Ugh, I think I want the Chucks. I have never thought this hard about shoes before. Shoes are shoes. You wear them in the rain, and step in poop and mud and gum. Shoes are so disgusting. But I am crazy about these 2 shoes and will take care of them like they are my own babies. Okay, that sounded retarded. I am retarded.
9 more days...
summerLovin45693: @&#%&!)! blah blah blah blah.. IM NOT TELLING YOU WHAT LEAH TOLD ME! blah blah blahh.. personallll
summerLovin45693: k?
Hi iM MoOsE: deal [fingers crossed behind back]
Yea, that's all I had to show you. I miss being a kid. I think I've been smoking crack or something. I have all this energy and I am acting like a freakin' 4 year old. I guess that's what happens when my dad pisses me off and won't let me do anything tonight. My other sis has been gone since 11am and she never comes home until 4am. But he never tells her to stay in the house. I leave at 7pm and am back by 12. I hate being the youngest!
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[28 Jul 2004|03:57pm] |
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The saddest song. But Sammie and I agree that it is the best!
- "Whiskey Lullaby"
She put him out like the burnin' end of a midnight cigarette
She broke his heart he spent his whole life tryin' to forget
We watched him drink his pain away a little at a time
But he never could get drunk enough to get her off his mind
Until the night
[1st Chorus]
He put that bottle to his head and pulled the trigger
And finally drank away her memory
Life is short but this time it was bigger
Than the strength he had to get up off his knees
We found him with his face down in the pillow
With a note that said I'll love her till I die
And when we buried him beneath the willow
The angels sang a whiskey lullaby
(Sing lullaby)
The rumors flew but nobody knew how much she blamed herself
For years and years she tried to hide the whiskey on her breath
She finally drank her pain away a little at a time
But she never could get drunk enough to get him off her mind
Until the night
[2nd Chorus]
She put that bottle to her head and pulled the trigger
And finally drank away his memory
Life is short but this time it was bigger
Than the strength she had to get up off her knees
We found her with her face down in the pillow
Clinging to his picture for dear life
We laid her next to him beneath the willow
While the angels sang a whiskey lullaby
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[27 Jul 2004|11:08pm] |
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Jenn, Allie, and I went to Regency and walked around. And then we went to super Wal-Mart cause we got real bored. And we each bought those Flava dolls. But we bought boys. And we all got Liam but he comes with different clothes and assesories. They are like friendship dolls. Only $3. My Liam is a skater. Jenn's Liam is a Rapper. And Allie's Liam wears a furry coat and sings karaoke. They kinda go with the types of boys we each like. ;] Hot, I know. We are putting them in our cars. Aw. I'm excited. And I found a pair of cheap shades for driving until I find better ones. They are alright on me. Adult Swim is on. I must go and watch it!
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[27 Jul 2004|10:46am] |
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"If you're looking for an open book, Look no further. I am yours"
I am crazy about the green and pink chucks. I want the ones that roll down. They are hot. Everytime I think about them, my heart races. They are my obsession. They are like my new boyfriend. I need them. I don't know. I want every pair ever made! I wish I had a money tree.
This saturday, a midnight movie. With the girls @ the Byrd. I haven't been to one in awhile. They are playing Office Space. Great Movie. :D Hopefully we will eat at Galaxy Diner. The chefs there are extremely cute! I like sitting across from them. And just staring at them. Trying to talk to them, but they not paying any attention to us. But we think they are. So we get happy and giggly. And enjoy the rest of our night, thinking they heard us. They have eyebrow rings. Which, might I add, is SO VERY HOTT!
"You're all I ever wanted. COULD YOU WANT ME?"
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[27 Jul 2004|12:35am] |
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I played disney monopoly tonight with erin and jessica.
they took all my money. ;[ but then I had to go home, so I had to get rid of all my things. [cries] I need sleep. but I am nowhere near tired. Time for the meds to put me to sleep. Also, I'm upset cause I can't go on that teen thing to KD for $25. Cause I will be doing behind the wheel. BYE!
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[26 Jul 2004|05:17pm] |
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I'm excited. I don't know why. I am in one of those 'too tired to sleep' moods. And a bit on the cranky side. I'm listening to Incubus' old stuff. Yea, bite me. Their new cd is good, as well. The Spill Canvas are coming to Alley Katz on August 9th. I like them. Anyone want to go with me?.. Maybe? Today feels like a sunday. Yesterday felt like a Saturday. I am so very tired. I need 25$. My mom wants me to use my cash. But I'm running out. Cause this weekend was very eventful. I loved every bit of it though. I wish I never began cracking my nuckles. Cause my rings move around when I'm typing and it bothers me. Robert Peck is my best friend. People think he is bad and hooks up with so many girls. But I know him. And he's not like that at all. No one ever gives him a chance. I will marry him... and the 279263 other guys I say I will marry. I babysit 2 kids tomorrow. I hope they will be good.
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[26 Jul 2004|12:18am] |
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today = pure sexiness. I hung out at subway with Jenn and Scotty and Jeff. Me and Jeff bumped heads. It was nice. I love Jeff. But Jeff left and I went home for dinner, and while I was eating, Matt and Tyler invited me to Putt Putt. And we met up with Page and went on the go-carts. I almost won, until like the last turn. Bite Me. And then we went to Sheetz for food and John met us up there. And we all went bowling! Which was extremely crazy. Lol. I thought we were going to get kicked out. We payed 12 something for as many games as we wanted. We played like 5 I think. Sounds good. Great night! I love those boys. Even if they cheated. ;]
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[25 Jul 2004|12:34pm] |
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Last night was hot. Leah, Sunny and I went to ice zone. It wasn't teen night. Thankfully. It was the 3 of us and like 3 other kids. It was fun. The kids skated better than us. I had forgotten how to iceskate, but before long, I had the hang of it again. And then Chris met up with us.. And we went to Brusters. I saw my fantabulous girl Andy! and all that other fun stuff. And unfortunatly, Sunny had to go home. So Leah and I went to Chris' house. And hung out.. But it was going on 1:15.. and I needed to be home. :[ But I didn't get home until about 2 cause it was raining and Chris lives off of Hull Street.
pictures- community.webshots.com/user/hiimmoose
At ice zone I had the worst headache. And then when Chris got locked out of his house.. I was laying in Leah's car, not feeling well. And it got worse and it was hard to walk. So I came home and took meds and it put me to sleep. And my mom says my head is a little warm. She's making me take more meds cause I have to babysit tomorrow.
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| 20 New Layout - Yay! |
[24 Jul 2004|12:17pm] |
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"i hope this song starts a craze. the kind of song that ignites the airwaves. the kind of song that makes people glad to be where they are, with whoever they're there with. this is war. every line is about, who i don't wanna write about anymore. hope you come down with something they can't diagnose, don't have the cure for. holding on to your grudge. oh its so hard to have someone to love. and keeping quiet is hard. cuz you cant keep a secret if it never was a secret to start. at least pretend you didn't wanna get caught.."
There is so much on my mind. Why must everything hit me at one time. I'm faking my smiles. Why smile at all of this? It's a bunch of shit. The only time I am happy is when I am sleeping. Cause I won't think about all of this. I was sitting in my room last night thinking about everything and I was wondering if the boys weren't lieing cause they are fucked. But then I realized I may be in some trouble. But when I talk to him, he keeps bringing it up. Let me just forget about it for a day so I can be happy. I just want the old me back. I changed for way to many people, did things that I never thought I would ever do. I broke my promise to myself, hurt myself many times. I don't know who I am anymore. I'm overly sick of summer. This summer is not one to be proud of. I wish school never ended. I was having the best time. In september, I have to start all over again. Fuck this. Just 2 more years. 2 more years of School, 2 more years until I'm 18.. And I can leave. I can't wait for college. And leave all these drama starters the hell alone. LEAVE ME ALONE!
Don't You Dare Forget
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| 19 |
[23 Jul 2004|11:05pm] |
It's ladies night and all the girls drink for free.
-* h-pawka, I miss you!
-* JEFF IS THE COOLEST!! :P
-* Sunny, I smell a good time for you next weekend!
-* LEAH AND ALLIE! I miss both of yoU! Leah, I hope you are having a great time at the beach!
I'm soo bored! :[ The only thing to do is sleep. And I don't want to sleep... Not yet.
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| 18... |
[23 Jul 2004|12:29am] |
7 more days.. then i'm almost there.. and 14 days and i'm free. and i can drive! my car doesn't work yet.. and i don't know how to drive stick. eek. oh well.
She hits the lights.
This doesn't seem quite fair.
Despite everything he learned from his friends,
he doesn't feel so prepared.
She's breathing quiet and smooth.
He's gasping for air.
"This is the first and last time," he says.
She fakes a smile and presses her hips into his.
He keeps his hands pinned down at his sides.
He's holding back from telling her
exactly what it really feels like.
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[21 Jul 2004|10:31pm] |
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I realized something: I'm two faced. Lol. I don't think I should be proud of it. But whatever.
I hung out with Jenn and Scotty and Jeff today. I always hang out with them now. I don't know. They are a cool group of people.
I'm real tired. It's been a long day.
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[20 Jul 2004|11:02am] |
I still recall every summer night
Like it was yesterday
The time would never end
And my friends were family
Nothing mattered more
Than the loyalty we had
Now I'm a world away from everything we shared
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